I’m going to have to be committed to the psych ward because Mama Mia MAKES ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF!!!!!!!!!! Thank God Janis Joplin has saved me from listening to this horrible overly happy movie. (Thank you Youtube) I am the happiest women on earth. I JUST BOUGHT BOOKS AT BARNES & NOBLE!!!!!!!!!! I got a thesaurus and the book Bitch (The book of feminist studies) by Elizabeth Wurtzel. I also ran into my friend I was just walking in the parking lot just wondering around in my head and I hear “Annie.” I flipped out thinking it was some one I hate and might have to suffer talking to but it was my friend Brandon thank god.

I’ve been sleeping all day and been surviving off of Herbal tea and cereal. Where has the day gone? I hate taking naps during the day I feel as though I was losing time. Like it was wasted and all gone. I woke up oblivious to the world I always feel as though I am a ghost after I awaken from a nap. I still feel asleep. It’s a weird feeling and I hate it. It takes me a while to get back into reality but I eventually do.

I had a eccentric dream like usual. Tony Soprano from the Television show The Sopranos was cutting peoples heads off with barbed wire so In my dream after he’d kill some one my dream would turn black and white. Then you’d see the head falling to the ground (the blood was in color) then the barbed wire and a red rose would fall on top of the head. Then Tony wanted to get out of town because he left the Mob and they were going to kill him so I helped him get away. I had a lot of other dreams but I can’t remember. I should of written them down.

I’m being put on a new pill it’s called Vivanse (I don’t think I spelt that right) It’s for ADHD I don’t believe in ADHD I only take those pills either because I want to lose weight (which on this pill I will lose 20 pounds =] ) To focus extra hard on a project, or to stay up all night. I’m just afraid it will take away my personality the doctors say that, “That’s impossible.” but what do they know. Maybe I am just a boring person. Erg! Self-esteem is the worse. I woke up today not being able to breathe. I think I almost hyperventilated because there was been so much on my mind.